More fun!

So I finally decided to tell this person I was OOCly RPing with that I needed to stop RPing with them on a personal level. It wasnt because I wasnt enjoying myself. But I'll be honest with myself here. They were HORRID at RP. I was needy for attention and they made me feel special but the lack of dialogue got to me so much that I felt like I was lowering myself to a standard I had no desire to be in. Not to mention that whole "he's RL in love with some other chick that could make my SL life a living hell and I like this other girl too"

I've also come to the realization that this individual must be incredibly unhappy with themselves. They surround themself with women. Not other male friends, but lonely dependant despondant women. Weak women. I realized this when he called me over to his parcel to look for something he had lost. Something that could easily have been autoreturned to him but nooo he wanted his throng of women to come scurry around looking for his chicken. When I realized this and told him "look I'm not interested in looking for your chicken anymore, I cant find it, I've looked above ground, below ground, in buildings, its NOT here" he said "aww just one more time" NO. Then I noticed. 5 other female avatars on the parcel. Not a male in sight. This is what made me cut off the sexual conversations with this person. Not only did they RP on other characters WHILE in IMs RPing with me, not to mention they probably were on MSN and Yahoo RPing with others there too. No WONDER this person's prose read like a 5 year old. If I had to keep up 5 seperate sexual RPs at the same time I'd be short winded too. Then I looked at my friendslist. Males, females... ok who do I turn to when I'm lonely and want to talk... even split of males and females. My friends. Then I thought about what this person's friends list must be like. How they interact with other men vs how they interact with women.

On the forums this individual seems to me to hate women. Hate everything about them. If a woman says boo shit about a man about how he's not meeting her needs, all of a sudden she's evil and sexist and women in general are the scum of the earth. Yet he continues to surround himself with women. To me this person seems incredibly unstable.

They messaged me the other night then saying "so much for being friends" I said I'm still your friend, I just havent had anything to say, I havent been in world for a while, I've been beating up things in WoW. He said I became a ghost when I stopped having sexual conversations with him. Well if thats how he felt, maybe he needed to investigate that he only came to me to fufill his sexual needs. It happens a lot with me, I'm a sexual person, but the second I feel used. Oh no. Not going to happen... buh bye pal.

I've also gotten involved with some real good friends. Friends who talk to me not just about sex, but about things that are our common interests. Gor, literature, music.. STUFF. Men and women talking like human beings. Enjoying conversations, nothing of which to do with sex. Its felt very very good. No pressure, great RP and just friendship. Friendship the way its supposed to be.

So the other night too, an OLD RP partner of mine decided to show back up into my life. To the people in SL I've never spoke about this person because it makes me sound egotistical as shit, but.. hey I'm an egomaniac when it comes to my RP. My RP is good, my RP rules. I rule. Go me. So anyways this person came back into my life via IM. Apologizing for the hell they put me through, the way they flipped out on me. I accepted it. But also something sparked inside of me. I want to RP with them again! We ruled RP together. We shut up entire rooms full of people with our RP. Chat channels virtually shut down when we got together. We were pure electricity. And it felt good. Oh GODS did it feel good. I mean orgasmicly good on the RL and virtual level. Gods I want that again. To make people virtually shut down to see my RP. The kind of attention I get when I compete in dance. When people say "you cannot be beat" THAT is incredibly empowering. It feels good. And I want it again.

Its like a drug, good RP. You find someone who you click with and your RP soars. Its no longer about trying to best them in prose. Its no longer a power struggle, its a dance, a beautiful wonderful dance. And I want more.